Anti-Valentine's Day

K so valentine's day really sucks. Yes I am well aware I have Brian, BUT where is Brian? Hmmm I think he is on the other side of the province, working. Im feeling kinda odd. I finally got a fantastic xmas present from him (promise diamond to be part of the engagement ring). but now it seems like i keep questioning, 'do i really want this?' I know i want to get married and stuff, but do i want to marry him. I've been bugging him for 5 years. Im sure he'd be relieved if we broke up, yet again. I dunno. Can't seem to talk to him about it anymore.
i shall wear my diamond until we do talk... until something changes.
but valentines day still sucks.